What if things don’t go the way I planned? What if something bad happens? What if I get hurt again? What if I lose my control again?
We all go through such over thinking patterns. Thinking is good but over thinking is harmful. It only drags us deeper into problems that never exist. We end up in long self talks and waste our time, energy and over thinking. So let’s see what this over thinking is all about. In simple terms, it means our minds plays game and builds all possible scenarios that are imaginary. Our mind builds a long chain of ‘What if’s’ isn’t it? So what do we do about it? Here are 4 ways to deal with overt thinking.
- Be in love with Uncertainty
One of the reasons we over analyze and over think is because life looks so uncertain and we are not comfortable with this uncertainty. Our mind tries to develop a series of scenarios so as to try to predict what will likely happen if we take or don’t take action. The world is so complex these days that any over thinking we do about the future is futile and sends us into a spiral of unwanted thoughts that leads to unwanted feelings.
Our mind is so used to ‘be sure of something’ i.e. certainty, that even a smallest uncertainty makes us uncomfortable and we start to over think.
When we become comfortable with this uncertainty (especially of future), we shift our focus to the present. Now present is the only time that is real and can be acted on!
- Clear your self-doubts
Many people are victim of this moral loading of “I should “and “I should not”. In the process to validate what is right and wrong , correct and incorrect, we end up having self doubt as we are not used to try new ways of dealing with it. If you want to try new way of doing things, you need to let go of “used to” or “set ways” of dealing. The more clear you become about your thoughts, more self doubts are clear.
- Deal with your fear
Fear of failure is instilled in few of us from early childhood. We’re told not to do that, avoid this, or else.As we grow, this belief tends to become unconscious and automatic. We aren’t aware of its presence, yet it controls us from the shadows, like an invisible puppet master. Overcoming fear of failure is not easy, but it can be done, especially when you are determined to. You can’t predict the future, which means you don’t know if failure is good or bad. One of the best ways is identify, where this fear is coming from and deal with it is have your own answers to all questions because of which you experience fear
- Give up “Perfectionism”
Excellence is good however, perfectionism kills discovery. We are so used to work towards a perfect work and personal life that when things are not going the perfect way (Again its self created definition of perfect) it causes inaction and lack of acceptance . Unless we experiment, we won’t discover new ways. Over thinking is also caused by this lack of ‘accepting imperfections’. We need to realize that no one is perfect and only way to accept others is accept ourselves with imperfections. Once we accept, we shift to figure out various or new ways of dealing that reduces over thinking.
Remember! If you think without clarity, you will end up No-Where. If you think with clarity you will be NoW-here! And when you Act in Now and here, there is no overthinking!
– Supriya Pujari