+ 91 7410014249
info@supriyapujari.com
Supriya Supriya
  • Home
  • About
    • About me
    • Our Team
    • Testimonials
    • Gallery
  • Life Coaching
    • About Life Coaching
    • What is coaching
    • Why coaching
    • FAQs
  • Services
    • Personal Coaching
    • Workshops
      • ARTZ – Self Discovery for Kids
      • Being Me – Self Discovery for Adults
    • Become a Certified Life Coach
      • Become a Life Coach for Women
  • Blog
  • Contact
  • Home
  • About
    • About me
    • Our Team
    • Testimonials
    • Gallery
  • Life Coaching
    • About Life Coaching
    • What is coaching
    • Why coaching
    • FAQs
  • Services
    • Personal Coaching
    • Workshops
      • ARTZ – Self Discovery for Kids
      • Being Me – Self Discovery for Adults
    • Become a Certified Life Coach
      • Become a Life Coach for Women
  • Blog
  • Contact
  • Home
  • Blog
  • why I said YES when it was NO inside!

Blog

28 Aug

why I said YES when it was NO inside!

  • By Supriya Pujari
  • In Blog
  • 4 comments

YES! I will call you.

YES! I will do it for you!

YES! I should do it because person is important than me saying NO

YES! I agree as I don’t want to hurt you!

YES! I did this because I am scared of fights

Above statements are daily part of our lives isn’t it? However, there are times when we regret our acceptance to something or someone when we actually didn’t mean it. This all starts from childhood .There is a need to be accepted and loved from our school group, college group, a particular friend. Then as we grow, the source group shifts and need of acceptance continues. Now we need from someone special, work colleagues, superiors, peers, family, life partner and the list goes on! We all experience this in our work and personal life isn’t it!!

Have we ever thought why I say yes when we want to say NO? The fact lies in the need of it. Many a times, we say YES to something in spite we want to say NO because of these two aspects

  1. Need of love or acceptance
  2. Fear of uncertainty

It’s interesting to get into the details

  1. Need of love or acceptance

We all have accepted few behaviors at times just to fulfill the need of being loved or need of being accepted. This happens when someone is raised by emotionally unavailable parent, someone who has lived alone for longer time, someone who had a difficult past or an event in any area of life. This triggers the inherent need of Love and acceptance. This also develops a fear of left-out or not loved. Right from the child hood, the place of love and care is fulfilled by parents. There are many adults today who struggle with this “YES syndrome” who are raised by emotionally unavailable parents. As they grow, their need of love takes backseat and their survival responsibilities takes over. Most importantly, their mind unconsciously seeks love and acceptance, which they never experienced in their childhood, and that’s where the “yes” starts .In order to fulfill this, without even giving second thought, they say YES. Some gets into emotional slavery! Some allows taking person for granted. And they keep on saying “YES” with a hope that they will receive love or acceptance!

Now let’s have a look at another aspect

  1. Fear of Uncertainty

This is a by-product of the need of love. We all operate from certain fears that we don’t want to deal with. Fear of uncertainty is one of them. When we do things we don’t want to, there is a fear of “what if I lose or hurt a person”. There is so much fear that one can go into pleasing mode or slavery of a person to an extent that eventually they will forget what they want from life! In family situations, people avoid confrontations and they accept certain behaviors just to be please or fulfill this need of love. This is nothing but illusion of love. People who actually love and care behave differently than people who create illusion of love. These are people who operate out of their fears of losing their presence in someone‘s life.

How to address?

The fact is, we don’t know what tomorrow will bring! So there is no question of uncertainty and fear of losing people or something we think will end our life if lost, in this present moment. The master key to all is, work on yourself! Your self-image! Your beliefs! The moment you shift your source of the need internally, you no longer need to have acceptance from external people.

Once you choose what is important for you and work internally first, you will gradually become a person who is absolutely comfortable in your own skin.

That’s where the self-discovery starts! Then the journey is all about, being a fulfilled person and be confident about your own thoughts and actions. Once you experience this clarity, it becomes easier to take a stand for yourself. Once you learn this art of putting your emotions first, your story of “ I said yes when I want to say NO” will shift to “ I said NO when I want to say NO”

 

 

  • Share:
Supriya Pujari
Supriya Pujari
Honoured as “Incredible Woman of India – 2018” by V R Oneness Foundation , Hyderabad Honoured as ‘Pride of Maharashtra Award – Entrepreneurship Services’ for my contribution in Social Change through Life Coaching by the hands of Chairman – National Commission of Nomadic tribes, New Delhi ICF Accredited Coach & Neuro Linguistics Programming (NLP) Master Practitioner. Founder and chief facilitator for Self Discovery, Personal Transformation and Leadership Development Program Leadership Coach for women leaders at Collective Impact Partnership (Funded by Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation) , California USA. Lead Coach at GAP (Global Action on Poverty), Tata Trust Supported initiative by Head Held High.

You may also like

Why affirmations don’t work

  • August 29, 2020
  • by Supriya Pujari
  • in Blog
Why affirmations/self-promises don’t work There was a girl who was reading an article about mental health that used...
The pressure of 1 JAN
December 28, 2019
Is Mental Health Overrated?
November 12, 2019
Who disappointed me…
October 12, 2018

    Comments

  1. Chandrasekhar
    August 28, 2018

    Very nice

    Reply
  2. Santosh Mukund Joshi
    August 28, 2018

    You nailed it……..a BIG THANK YOU………. i also come across these situations very regularly……..Will try my best to overcome the 2nd reason FEAR……..though realized this at some point but could never find a way out…….thanks again for showing me the light…….👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

    Reply
  3. Lubna karkaria
    August 29, 2018

    Very well explained

    Reply
  4. Mahendra Gami
    August 29, 2018

    Very nice Article

    Reply

Leave A Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Categories

  • Blog

Recent Posts

Why affirmations don’t work
29Aug,2020
The pressure of 1 JAN
28Dec,2019
Is Mental Health Overrated?
12Nov,2019

Get in touch

+ 91 7410014249

info@supriyapujari.com

Useful Links

  • About me
  • About Life Coaching
  • FAQs
  • Contact
  • Testimonials
  • Privacy policy

Social Links

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Linkedin

Newsletters

Subscribe to get updates right in your inbox. We promise to not send you spams.

Supriya Pujari. Powered by Wisecow Consultants.

  • Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • For Coaches
  • Become a Life Coach for Women
  • Self Discovery for Kids
  • Group Coaching
  • Become a Certified Life Coach
  • Being ME – Discover & Transform
  • Being ME – Full Day Transformation Workshop
  • Events
  • My Events
  • Her Breakthrough Coach-FAQ
  • User
  • Login
  • Register
  • Members
  • Logout
  • Account
  • Password Reset
  • Our Team